Why you should not go drinking with the Baka Trio
by That Dastard Cerberus
Summary: Never go out with the Baka Trio. Never.


Ryuunosuke really didn't know why he was here. He'd rather not be, as it was late and he really just wanted to sleep. Why couldn't the guys drag that young page along instead? Yeah, the boy (what was his name again? Yukimura?) had only been around for two years, but still. Didn't they know Ryuunosuke hated drinking?

Well, then again, it was within character for the Baka Trio to disregard his opinion and drag him into their shenanigans. It got bothersome at times, but at the core, Harada, Nagakura, and Heisuke really didn't mean any harm. Still, after some time being pestered by Heisuke, Ryuunosuke finally decided to humor the three and join them. And he still couldn't figure out why he had bothered.

Either way, he was stuck at Shimabara, nursing a cup of tea in one hand as the Baka Trio laughed, jested, and behaved like drunken buffoons when he heard something behind him. It was a subtle noise, like a door sliding open. Only it seemed too quick to be just a casual opening or closing or a door, and shortly afterward, there was shouting coming from outside.

Yet another reason Ryuunosuke didn't like coming to Shimabara. Bothersome drunks getting into annoying fights over stupid, trivial things. But he decided to ignore the ruckus and instead through a verbal jab at Nagakura, who was too busy flexing and admiring his shadow.

This verbal jab eventually turned into a snarky back and forth (although, to be honest, it was mostly Harada and Ryuunosuke being snarky) until the ruckus outside drew louder. And this time, Ryuunosuke actually heard what the fight was about.

"I ain't afraid of Nagakura! *hic* I-in fact, I'd keel 'im wit' jus' mah face!"

Ryuunosake snorted. Bold moves there, buddy. Only problem was that your face ain't steel, and Nagakura's a monster when drunk.

As if working like clockwork, Nagakura whirled around to the doors. "Whad 'e say?!"

Harada, despite being tipsy, staggered over to Nagakura and grasped one shoulder. "Hey, man, settle down. It's just talk."

Of course, it didn't work. Once Nagakura got wound up, as Ryuunosuke realized, there was no going back. Nagakura shoved Harada away and stomped outside, bellowing insults and demanding who the idiot was that thought his face could kill him. Shortly thereafter, a fight broke outside.

"Idiot," Ryuunosuke mumbled before taking a sip. Heisuke stumbled to the open door and laughed. "Aww, man! Shinpattsaun's pissed! Hey, Ryuunosuke, take a look!"

"I'd rather not, thanks." He waved at the young captain dismissively. "You've seen one fight, you've seen them all."

"Suit yourself then!" Heisuke, in typical Heisuke-fashion, then ran outside, followed by Harada, who shot Ryuunosuke an apologetic look before darting out.

Moments later, Yamazaki came by, most likely sent by Hijikata. He glanced around the room, noticing the lone Ryuunosuke and no captains. Narrowing his eyes, he asked;

"Where are the others?"

Ryuunosuke jabbed his thumb behind him to the open door behind him and, as if timed, a ronin fell over, following by Heisuke's loud laughter. Yamazaki bowed his head, sighing loudly.

"I'll go alert the vice commander. Please keep an eye on those three until I return."

Ryuunosuke waved his hand in response. "Don't bother. It's almost over."

Maybe it was due to his time with the men of the Shinsengumi. Maybe he had developed some kind of clairvoyance. Either way, as he predicted, the ruckus suddenly faded with Nagakura stomping in, sporting a bruised eye and bloody lip, laughing hysterically. "Hahahahahaha! His face wasn't even hard enough to leave a bruise!"

Yamazaki opened his mouth, most likely to demand answers, but Ryuunosuke shook his head as Harada and Heisuke returned, both looking disheveled, yet not nearly as messed up as Nagakura. Yamazaki cast his gaze over the group before his shoulders sagged. "Please excuse me." He bowed and left.

Ryuunosuke smirked into his cup. Maybe today wasn't so bad. At least he got a laugh out of this.


End file.
